Greetings there. You may have noticed that I have been “radio silent” for about a month, at least on this website and on the blog which I have consistently posted on since its conception. This is okay.
To sum up what happened, I basically got burnt out from all of my hobbies. That’s a funny thing to say. Hobbies are supposed to be something that you do in your free time to relax and feel better. Due to OCD and other false pretenses, I have always had the habit of putting pressure on my hobbies and they became, well, not fun anymore.
It is an “all or nothing” mentality. If I write, then I have to spend every second I can trying to build the “best” writing career possibly for myself, whatever that even means. Same with birdwatching, pickleball, bodybuilding, and everything else that I once found enjoyment in. So I stopped. I started therapy. It was one of the best decisions that I ever made. I learned about mindfulness and being aware of my own patterns of thinking. I started to learn techniques on how to take back control of my own mind and not be tossed around at the will of my thoughts (byproducts of the brain).
I have still abstained from posting on here and writing again, because I was scared of losing all of that progress that I made in therapy once I got back to my old habits. It took weeks of me not partaking in any activities other than going home and watching TV. Normal life stuff. I slowly found another passion, making music, which will be detailed in a separate blog post of its own. Now, I am finally breaking the ice and posting on here once more.
I never lost my love for writing, I just needed to figure out a better and more sustainable approach to it. No pressure. No perfection. This is a common theme for many areas of my life which you will find out soon shall you stay updated on my future posts.
The single biggest truth that I have learned this past month:
There is no “right way” to do anything.
Even writing this post, I am mentally tempted to check for perfection, analyze my purpose for writing this, double check that it is okay and “proper”. These are all lies that I am still working to break past. There is no perfect or correct way to write this post. There is no perfect book to write. No perfect song to make. No truly perfect response to have to someone in a conversation, or outfit to wear. Life is messy and there are rarely straight lines in nature. You just do.
Once you realize that, you are truly free, creatively speaking, because you can really do anything. This post is whatever I want it to be, there is no criteria or rules. Nobody is regulating this website for me. It’s my own that I created for myself.
All of that to say, I am back and it feels good to be writing again. Do not worry if I have abandoned this site, for I have returned and better than I was before.
Ciao.
